Emily and I text one another. A lot. (BFF Rule #8 entitles us to such practices) Here are some of the more entertaining ones as of late because we are desperate for content and this is Emily’s finals week and nothing (not even that video of Taylor Swift getting scared by Ellen Degeneres) makes her laugh harder than this. Presented context free because that is usually how they are received.
- Listening to “Someone Like You” by Adele turns me into a crazy person.
- Sometimes I want to wear Timberlands in a non-ironic way.
- He was beautiful. I’ll probably write a poem about him later.
- I have cough syrup in my purse…it has 10% alcohol content.
- I got approved for a credit card. I’M GOING TO BUY EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!
- Whenever I visit my hometown I can’t help but play a dramatized “where are they now?” slide show featuring my high school friends in my head.
- So there I was, cracking up at the Justin Bieber Macy’s commercial…
- I want Matt Lauer to hold me. He has big arms.
- That girl is so 2- dimensional, whereas I am like 100- dimensional.
- When I have to be at work super early and there aren’t a lot of people out I listen to Muse and pretend i’m walking through a post apocalyptic urban environment.
- Sometimes when I get bored at work I daydream about The Hunger Games.
- Do you ever get sensitive to how people order you in emails or facebook messages? I always notice the order.
- I just ate a small package of gummy bears way too fast and almost threw up, like a five year old.
- I told myself I wasn’t going to wear makeup all week and I haven’t. Well, to be honest I’m out of makeup which made making that statement fairly easy. I’m the laziest feminist around.
- Speaking of our generation, I just did some really creepy stuff on Facebook and the internet.
- Come Clean by Hilary Duff is an anthem for our generation.
- I need validation concerning the last text I sent you.
- Sometimes when I drink water I get a headache. Like my body is surprised or something.
- “Gossip girl is effing awesome” I want to put that on your tombstone.
- Life is boring without unhealthy habits.
- He and his desert boots are dead to me.
- I just ordered black and purple headphones. A homage to my youth.
- I already decided this morning (again) that I dont want to make any new friends ever.
- Eyeing boys in coffee shops is like our thing.
- Sometimes when I see tweets and pictures on facebook over the holidays where people are reuniting with their high school friends I get really emotional like when I see pictures of soliders returning from war.
- Good morning, Taylor Swift got bangs. that’s all
- Shoot, I just have a lot of feelings I want to turn into lyrics. Poetry isn’t the same, it’s not as catchy. I want my feelings to be catchy
- Sometimes I give myself pep talks where I say things like “Emily, you’re a grown ass lady, you can’t wear sweatpants to trader joes, put on some damn jeans.”
- Footloose was a great movie.*
- You gotta know when to step it up and when to retreat into your bed in your matching pajamas.
- Boys who are into Jane Austen make me nervous, also Christian boys who brag about having read Redeeming Love.
- Do you think anyone has ever made a joke about Rahab being a JericHO, you know, because she was a prostitute?
- I think I have emotional tourettes.
- Let’s just acknowledge that we both spend a lot of time thinking about the inner thought life of celebrities.
- Half of my counseling advice is just telling people how an episode on TV ends.
- Maybe on my way home i’ll stop by the mall to smell Wonderstruck.
- I bet we think about Devon Sawa more than most people.
- Do you think if I strategically position myself on campus and read A Severe Mercy i’ll get a boyfriend?
- What do you know about nuclear launch codes?
* I will give context for this one- it was over a week after we saw Footloose. Listen, some movies just really stick with you, okay?!